Hello from beautiful Montana:
A job well done is a reward in itself. The feeling of completing a task can’t be
duplicated or replaced, and it encourages us to start other tasks and move on
to do more things. However, a little
incentive every once in a while never hurt anything. If you’re looking for ways to get your
children to feel motivated to do their chores, try giving them an incentive.
Incentives that Work
An incentive is something small, like a treat, game,
privilege, or special time with parents.
Don’t get an incentive confused with bribes, which are more like
blackmail than encouragement. When you
offer your child incentive, it’s like a little extra something in addition to
the overall feeling of accomplishment your child will feel when she’s finished
her job. If your child feels
accomplished and happy after a job well done, this feeling will carry
over. She’ll be more inclined to finish
other tasks, and be more self-motivated.
Bribes Don’t Work
The difference between a bribe and an incentive is in the
way you word it. A bribe is something
like, “If you clean your room, you
can have ice cream,” while an incentive should go, “When you’ve finished cleaning your room, I’ll take you to get ice
cream.” The bribe gives the child a
choice, and puts the child in charge.
The child feels like she can make demands.
If or When
On the other hand, the incentive leaves no
room for avoiding or changing the terms.
The word “when” makes it clear that your child must finish her task, and
only then will she be rewarded.
When you go to http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com you will get a free eBook on verbal and nonverbal communication. You will be glad you did and so will we.
(So did you get the incentive…..or was that a bribe?)
Love, Judy H. Wright a.k.a. Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author
